I am running really hard into the same wall over and over
I am imagining myself hopeful and happy again
but I feel like I am not sure I am wholly capable of being really happy
It feels like I have had to give up hope to survive
And I am tired of survival mode
I don't like anyone who likes me too much. The most alluring are the ones who capture your heart and then keep you an arms length away
So tired of games. As if it isn't difficult enough to truly understand and be understood. Not in a superficial, emotional quickie sort of moment but more of a lasting compatibility kind of way. And yet my desire runs so strong... I know I would, I could give it up even if I know I shouldn't
I don't think I am depressed, just recessed.